The word “LOVE” is perhaps one of the most common words in the English dictionary. However, you may be shocked to find out that a lot of people do cannot define it. In addition to defining the term love, in this post, we will also be looking at love language.
The Definition of Love
While researching for this post, I came across several definitions of the word love. Below are some of the most common ones;
- Love is a profoundly tender and passionate affection for another person
- It is a strong affection for another passion as a result of kinship or personal ties
- Love is a strong feeling of concern and passion towards another person arising from a close friendship or kinship
- It is a strong feeling often accompanied by sexual attraction
- Love is an intense emotional attachment to someone or something
The definitions are countless. However, the common factor between each of these definitions and more is that love is a feeling, it is strong and it is towards someone or something.
It is safe to say that every human being has at one point or another felt love. However, the way we feel love is very different. For this reason, in this post, we look at the different love languages.
The five love languages
The term love language was introduced by a counselling practitioner and author, Gary Chapman in the book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”.
In the book Gary Chapman discusses the following 5 love languages:
1. Words of affirmation
People with this kind of love language feel that they are loved when their partners keep affirming their love. These people value constant “I love you”, “you are the only one”, “thank you”, “I appreciate what you did “and such words of affirmation. Failure to give such affirmation causes issues in a relationship.
For example:
Stacy constantly gets pissed at her fiancé if he fails to say thank you or end an end of the day conversation with an I love you. This is because her love language is “Words of affirmation”
2. Quality Time
This type of love language is mostly about giving attention. A person with this love language values quality time with 100% attention, no TV, chores, cell phones or any form of distraction more than gifts or words of affirmation.
For example, Sharon feels the best in her relationship when she prepares dinner with her husband and eats it while talking about their day and their plans before going to bed and cuddling. This is because Sharon’s love language is quality time.
- Receiving gifts
3. Receiving gifts
A person with this love language feels loved when they receive gifts. To such a person, the thoughtfulness and effort behind a gift is a symbol of true love. Such a person feels that they are loved and cared for when they are showered with gifts.
For instance, Daisy feels loved when her husband spends time and effort to find a thoughtful and meaningful gift. It even gets better when he plans a special way of giving the gift or plans a surprise.
4. Acts of service
This language features any act that is aimed to relieve the burden or responsibility. People with this type of language often suggest to their partners what they can do to make their lives easier and they feel loved when the acts are performed. To such a person, simple acts like taking out the trash are significant because they are a show of love.
For instance, Crystal feels loved when her husband helps her take care of the kids, takes out the trash and takes an active role in the running of the household. Her relationship thrives when these acts are accomplished.
5. Physical touch
People who speak this kind of love language adore any kind of physical touch. From hand holding to hugging and pats on the back. All these have to be done in a loving and not oppressive manner or atmosphere.
For instance, Tessa’s relationship thrives when her partner cuddles and rubs her back when they are talking. This kind of physical touch calms and reassures her. It especially helps when they are resolving an issue.
Final Word
Love languages differentiate what love is for different people and what they expect from it. Most people have misunderstandings in their relationships because they have different love languages. For instance, Brian’s love language is receiving gifts, so he gives his girlfriend gifts as an expression of love. However, the girlfriend does not speak this love language, she values words of affirmation more than gifts.
Such a situation may cause issues within a partnership. The solution is to learn your partners love language and give them what they crave. You do not have to share the same love language as your partner for your relationship to thrive.